Real World Parent Newsletter…great resource for us parents!!

Just a few days ago I came across Real World parents on Twitter…here is this weeks newletter;

Contents

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement…And Humor

1. Tools for Parenting Teens

 

From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Finding Peace

Okay, so teens don’t always seem like the most peace-loving people on the planet. Or in the house. But everyone wants peace of mind, even if some of us seem to want to have it really loudly. Teens can represent…
Read More:
http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/article/finding_peace/

*Save 20% off the retail price of “The Wisdom Deck” when you use Coupon Code RWPN104 and order by 5/30/09.

http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/the_wisdom_deck/

2. Learn Their Lingo

bromance = A non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close.

dudevorce = When two male best friends officially end their friendship over a lame disagreement, usually concerning a girl.

3. Movie Reviews for Parents

 

 

 

 

Fighting

“Fighting” is grittier “Rocky”-style genre picture full of pummeling for fun and profit. Teens who have seen Channing Tatum in the “Step Up” films or…
Read Review:

 

4. Links to Learn From

Fathers and sons: Don’t forget to celebrate mothers next month [Jackson Sun]

Teen Drug Education Also Helps Curb Risky Sexual Behavior [Science Daily]
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090429111247.htm

Family arguing leaves a long-lasting imprint on children [Boston.com]
http://www.boston.com/news/health/articles/2009/04/27/a_lingering_cloud/

Worried Your Kid Is Addicted to Video Games?  [U.S. News & World Report]
http://health.usnews.com/blogs/on-parenting/2009/4/21/worried-your-kid-is-addicted-to-video-games-unplug-the-xbox-and-get-him-a-job.html

5. A Little Encouragement…And Humor

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
- Bill Cosby

State of Play

Russell Crowe’s turn as a rumpled old-school newspaper journalist investigating a government corruption-and-sex scandal may not appeal to many teens. But those who care to…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/state_of_play/

http://www.jacksonsun.com/article/20090428/LIFESTYLE/904280302

Featured Resource: The Wisdom Deck

Packed with ideas for conversation starters and wisdom that will help with school, sports, dating, money, and college. Dive into deeper, wiser discussions with The Wisdom Deck. Lean more about The Wisdom Deck at http://www.theWisdomDeck.com!

Are we really helping parents? or are we sabotaging their God-given responsibility?

The more I “DO” this youth ministry thing…the more I am convinced we have missed the boat with parents.  I realize to some extent both parties are guity of abdicating responsibility. 

PARENTS: Not all parents… but many have consciously chosen to use youth ministy as a glorified “child care service”  Why?  there are many reasons why but primarily because it’s what they know because that was their experience.

CHURCH:  We have provided the program (not necessarily weighing the consequences) that is feeding this consumeristic mentality when it comes to church programs.  For too long we have said…”Sure drop your kids off with us;

• go on a date…we provide cheap child care and you can be sure your child will be safe in the confines of our church building
• don’t bother coming in to the facility to see what we will be doing, what we offer or who will be spending time with your children. 

I’ve been so thankful over the past few years that pastors, parents and certain ministries like rethink (Orange), Faith at Home, are beginning to start a conversation and dialogue about where God is at work and how we can play a role in the ministry to families versus being the ministry for families. 

For more interesting thoughs, stats and blogs head..check out this link

I’m a coach and a role model…has this coach gone too far?

Check this out…a cheerleading coach in the States just recently lost her job because she chose to pose for Playboy (a few months before she was hired)  What do you think?  Was it grounds for dismissal?  Does being a role model mean every aspect of your life can be scrutinized?  Check out the link below…

http://bitly.com/9dw9p

Where do many “Idols” get there start?

I’m not necesarily a huge fan of Amercian Idol but I cam across an article I found very interesting.

http://www.ajc.com/services/content/printedition/2009/04/23/idol0423.html

 

It also appears the big “Susan Boyle” phenomenon was a Hollywood production…so sad

http://buzznewsroom.com/entertainment/simon-cowell-staged-susan-boyle-story-hoax-scam-or-real/

What are we thinking?

If you’ve been in youth ministry for more than 10 years you will definitely appreciate this video…what is it about all-nighters?  Every year we say NO…never again!!  But 364  days later we are doing it again!!

Great thought in light of my last post

 

 

I came across this blog today…I really appreciate what this writer had to day about how I have been feeling the past year;

Deuteronomy 6.6-7 reads ‘These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.’

Ephesians 6.4 reads ‘Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord’ 

This great responsibility is not given to Children’s Workers or Youth Ministers. And yet so many churches act as though it is. How many resources are given over by your church (and our Diocese) to the recruitment, training, and employing of childrens and youth ministers? What if those same resources were instead given to train parents to discharge their God given responsibility? 

Too often a youth group is seen as an essential for raising Christian kids. Plenty of people have ‘big youth group’ as top of their list for choosing a church. Others leave a good church to find a better youth group. This is putting the cart before the horse.

The stakes on this one are raised in a small church setting where the teenagers can be sucked out of the church where their family is, and into the church where the youth are. That’s not to say you can’t do youth ministry well on a smaller scale – but the reality is you are working against the grain of our church culture. 

Children’s and youth ministry need to be seen as a complement to the family ministry than as a substitute for it. Humanly speaking, the family is where much of the next generation of church is being raised. As the gap between church and culture seems to grow, we needs parents (and dare I say Fathers?) who will step up and commit to raise their kids in the love and knowledge of Jesus.  2 hour a week at youth group will not cut it.

-Michael Kellahan

The End of Youth Events?

Over the past two weeks (while on vacation) I have received numerous emails from angry, confused, happy, tired parents and leaders.  The majority of there emails have revolved around programming and events.  Not all of the emails were of the negative nature…they ranged from;

• We need more events (not sure why exactly?)
• We need a greater mission/purpose behind them (okay)
• We need more…but they shouldn’t cost money and all we need to do is open up the church every Friday night.  (This is what I call…free babysitting for mom and dad – let’s not forget I have my own family…wife and kids and I’d love to hang out with my own boys and wife on a Friday night)
• 1 event a month is great…keep it up!  (I love it)

In many ways the church has created this monster…we have sabotaged the parents responsibility to raise up there children and now parents are waving the flags of surrender…crying out. “WE DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO…SO YOU THE YOUTH MINISTRY…YOU RAISE OUR KIDS…AND IF THEY SCREW UP…IT’S YOUR FAULT!

So how does having an event every Friday night …keep our children from making bad choices?  They don’t…kids are getting themselves into trouble Monday thru Friday from the hours of 3pm – 6pm… as they patiently wait for their parents to arrive home from work.

I’ve written a list of how I am feeling about the sacred cow youth events (after 20 years of youth miniistry)

 

•  I am tired of the same handful of students showing up to every event. If I said “come watch the paint dry!”….there is a core of students that would show up.
• You never sign up one student at a time for an event anymore…you sign up a cluster of students.  Forget pre-registration
• Is the lack of participation in things like service projects, camps, fill-in-the-blanks due to poor publicity, poor events, or a combination of the two?
• In my quest to avoid pointless “youth group-y” events, I may have moved to an opposite extreme.
• I tend to think that our “involved” students are the ones who show up for everything when in reality our students who are actually growing the most may not show up for much of what we do.
• In our quest to “do less” are we doing the right things?

Tim Schmoyer (youth pastor from Minnesota) recently posted a conversation regarding whether youth events are still working – definitely worth listening to!

 

http://timschmoyer.com/2008/11/22/podcast-are-youth-events-still-working/

I’d love to hear your feedback….what’s your experience?  what’s working for you?  what’s not?

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

While skiing at Nakiska on Sunday I was amazed once again to see people portraying an image but not living up to it.  Let me explain…when people are wearing the top of the line ski/snowboard ware and equpitment you imagine that they are seasoned professionals.  Boy was I wrong…they couldn’t barely stand on their skis or balance on their snowboards and they weren’t even on the hill yet.  Then there is the family who emerge from their 1984 Cutlass Supreme wearing jeans and hand me down winter jackets with holes and stains…and they of course tear up the ski hill!!  What’s up with that? We definitely cannot judge a book by it’s cover!

The hottest news hitting the airwaves these past few days is about a woman from the UK named Susan Boyle.  Talk about unsuspecting?  It goes to show us once again that we have such an easy time of labelling people based on their age, looks, first impression.  Take a look at this article written today by Rebecca Jamieson:

SHE melted the hearts of Saturday night TV viewers and won over the usually acerbic judges.

Now it seems Britain’s Got Talent star Susan Boyle is proving a smash hit on YouTube too – racking up more than ONE MILLION views in the 48-hrs since he small screen appearance.

More than 8000 comments, mostly offering support, have also been left for the churchgoer from Blackburn in West Lothian suddenly dazzled by the limelight.

Yesterday drinking in the magnitude of the overnight success that has followed her rendition of ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ from West End hit Les Miserable has brought her, she candidly admitted yesterday to be somewhere between overwhelmed and overjoyed by the reaction.

One step at a time

Susan, 48, said: “I’m just taking it one step at a time. The phone’s never stopped ringing.

“Apparently even Australian radio want to talk to me too now.”

Grinning from ear to ear and waving to well-wishing neighbours, she said: “I just found out my video’s had one million hits – I can’t believe it.

“My brother lives in Australia and didn’t know about the show, but he just called me to say he’d seen me on YouTube.
“Everyone’s been so lovely and supportive, and I’ve had loads of well-wishers.

Local celebrity

“I’m just taking it one step at a time, but so far I’m enjoying it immensely”
Susan is now a huge celebrity in her hometown and said she’s been staggered by the reaction from ordinary people on the street.

Walking through her local shopping centre people shouted their congratulations.

She even attracted a few wolf whistles from teenage boys teasing her about never being kissed.
But when asked if her new celebrity status brought her any romantic attention she flustered: “No comment”.

Already she’s admitted to only having eyes for judge Piers Morgan.

And she said: “The judges are good at their job, very professional and fair.”

Trying to sound American?

I recently came across a website where people from all parts of the world are attempting to speak American…not sure it’s deep profound meaning – but it sure is fun!

Weekend update…

Although our trip to Panormama was a great time of rest and relaxation…I am stoked to be home!  The boys have another week off of school …so I will be chillin with them for the next week.  I’m looking for things to do with them – so if you have any ideas please let me know!!

So what else has been going on?

Books I’ve read or am reading;

 

 

 5 out of 5…great read on helping to understand the Millenial generation and what makes them tick

 

 

 

 4.5 out of 5….great insights into how we can re-engage men when it comes to the health and life of “doing” church.

 

 4.5 out of 5…nice quick read that stresses the importance of vision and decision making

 

Shows I’ve been watching (objectively of course);

• Kings
• Harper Island
• The Mentalist

 Sites I’ve been viewing;

I have come across some amazing youth ministry / family resource blogs and sites recently…here is the list

• http://www.morethandodgeball.com/
• http://www.drewmarshall.ca/
• http://www.philcooke.com/
• http://www.ysmarko.com/
• http://timschmoyer.com/
• http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/blog/
• http://johnnysboy.blogspot.com/index.html
• http://www.internetmonk.com/
• http://www.jimwideman.com/blog/

At CSC junior high we have started our LOVE DARE month.  We are challenging all of our leaders / students / families to join the challenge to love people within there sphere of influence.  Check out our junior high Youtube channel