Digital Discretion Advised

Talking to many students in regards to social networking – they all make the comment that there is “comfort” within this form of relationship.

Even though you’re publishing content for all the world to see, you really don’t have to face the public who might (you hope) stumbles across your words.

In the privacy of your home or office, its just you and a computer screen. So we tend to let loose and speak in a way we may not if we actually had to let those words lose from our mouths.

This creative flow is one of the strengths of the connected generation. It allows for unedited expression and perceived connection with people miles away.

But this lack of digital inhibition can be a major weakness. Because as we sit with manufactured courage in the privacy of our office space, we’re publishing words to the world that may come back to haunt us in a variety of ways. Not to mention we are also in the process of we’re creating a digital paper trail that could easily affect our God-given calling in the future.

I heard it many times growing up, “If everything we thought or said was made public, we’d be ashamed.” Now, it seems everything everyone hears or says is being made public, but we’re not ashamed.

Now, I’m a huge fan of the digital age. I’m on Facebook & Twitter. But I’m worried about a culture that is slowly lacking the ability to think before it speaks. The journey from mind to mouth to keyboard to web happens so fast, it lacks the necessary self-editing skills we had before the computer age was born.

Communication is clearly not going back to a previous age and I don’t think it should. 21^st century tools have made the world smaller, creating new channels for the transmission of truth and hope and light.

We all need to self-edit before we press send or share or publish. Are the words we are blasting to cyberspace words we’d be proud to claim in a roomful of dignified people?

Are they words peppered with affirmations of God’s grace? Do they show strains of self-absorption by revealing too much about ourselves? Private things that nobody but our loved ones needs to know?

Definitely something to think about…what are your thoughts?

Turn the Lights Off when you leave!!

The big talk around youth ministry circles these days has to do with two perspectives:

Yes!  believe it or not there is still youth pastors meeting as I write this blog ( in Cincinnati  at the National Youth Convention) who are asking the old age question…”So dude, how big is your youth ministry?”

To that question I politely say, “WHO GIVES A FLYING RIP!”…the real issue that we need to be talking about and questioning is …”WHY ARE STUDENTS CHECKING OUT OF CHURCH?”

• Is it no longer relevant?
• Are they tired of spectating?
• Are they done with the institution?

A good friend of mine (Brett Ullman) recently posed a blog entry talking about this whole subject…he also gives the viewer some great insights into a resource…take a look for yourself

Who Am I? & Who Are You?

I can’t stop thinking about the impact that parents have on their kids!

There is that old addage that says something about “nurture over nature” …in some ways I might agree with that statement.  But I must admit I get a little ticked when I hear people say …“todays youth can’t be all God wants them to be until they confess all of the sins of their parents.”

That statement keeps running through my head…I wonder..”how many of these kids I work with really even know there parents?”  The fact is there are many teens who have no clue who there parents really are!  So how does a student confess the sins of their parents when they don’t even think there parents have ever sinned?

I can’t even begin to tell you how many students over the past 20 years have said to me; “I can’t relate to my parents…and they do not relate to me – I have issues and my parents have never had issues.”   What kind of influence are we having on our kids when we appear to be the “Cleaver” family?  I’m not saying we need to download all of our messyness onto our kids – but what I am saying is that we need to be authentic and vulnerable and at least be willing to admit when we have messed up.

We can never lose sight of the fact that we all have inherited a “sin nature” from our parents and if that nature is kept unchecked sin can be repeated from generation to generation. The problem with that mindset is that many have used it as an excuse to remain in disobedience.  I can’t help myself…it’s not my fault…it was my sinful forefathers!! Time for a reality check!!

Those sinful patterns don’t have to be repeated… we all have a choice how we choose to live our lives.  I came from a fairly messed up home…and my ancestry is littered with trainwreck after trainwreck.  Sure I could pull out the “generational  excuse card”…but it’s merely an excuse.  I have drawn the line in the sand…and through the power of  God working through me I must surrender daily to my sinful desires.

Parents, students..or whoever else may read this blog – don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re shackled with the same unavoidable choices.

We all have a choice. I don’t care where you are from or what people around you have done or are doing.  Remember that although faith is personal…it’s also not private – and therefore we must keep in mind that it doesn’t mysteriously trickle down from generation to generation.  We must choose!! .

Her are some questions you may want to discuss as a family;

Think:

• Can God use me (my family) in spite of my (our) family background?
• How can my life beam God’s love into my family/friends?
• Have I made family excuses (generational sin) for my lack of faith and obediance to Gods call in my life?

Pastor G <><<

REAL WORLD Parent Newsletter

Contents

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Links to Learn From
4. A Little Encouragement…And Humor

1. Tools for Parenting Teens

From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Self-Control

None of us like to say “no” to ourselves, and that might go double for teenagers. Facing the strongest appetites of their lives, a natural urge toward independence, and pressure from peers to go along with the crowd, the ability…
Read More:
http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/article/self-control/

Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens

In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.

http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/

2. Learn Their Lingo

Bootsie = Something undesirable

Bamboozled = to get tricked or decieved

4. Links to Learn From

Question To Ask
http://www.youthspecialties.com/blog/2009/question-to-ask/

Pastor “Daddy”: Juggling Ministry and Fatherhood
http://www.youthspecialties.com/blog/2009/pastor-daddy/

Media Multitaskers: “Suckers for Irrelevancy”
http://www.realworldparents.com/blog/article/media_multitaskers_suckers_for_irrelevancy/

5. A Little Encouragement…And Humor

When you wholeheartedly adopt a “with all your heart” attitude and go out with the positive principle, you can do incredible things.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Desiring an Elijah Experience

“Then he (Elijah) was told, Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by. A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasnt in the wind, after the wind an earthquake, but God wasnt in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasnt in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.” –  1 Kings 19: 11-12.The Message.

I’m drowning….no not in water…but by the busyness of life and new a new ministry vocation.

One of our underlying principles at Centre Street Church focuses on & around “PURSUING GOD”.  I really don’t feel like I’m doing a very good job in pursuing God in my own life…so how do I challenge leaders, students and  families to do the same?

The fact is…is that noise can be both good and bad. As Im writing this I’m sitting in my home office…contemplating many ministry initiatives while listening to Skillet blaring in my ear…so you get the idea of good and bad noise. It’s easy to beat ourselves up…and think somehow because we are bombarded with noise that God is somehow disappointed with us.  I believe that even in the midst of the craziness…He loves us passionately… God is proud of us. He loves us and wants the best for us.

In recently hearing Phil Vischer (The Co-creator of Veggie Tales)he states that It was “more about God and me than my Big Idea”. That vision was more based on revelation than on purpose statements. When people dont depend upon God the vision ceases. Proverbs 29:18a says,”Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint.”

With Thanksgiving weekend behind us… may we be people of revelation, basing that revelation on Gods Word and listening to Gods noise rather than our own. God is the audience we are to be pleasing.

Latest edition of “REALWORLD PARENTING”

Contents

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement…And Humor

1. Tools for Parenting Teens

From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Faith and Feelings

All of us struggle some to line up our emotional responses to life with our stated beliefs about God’s greatness, power, goodness, forgiveness, and His absolute love for us. Teens, though—fueled by a cocktail of hormonal change and hyper-cultural connectivity—may…
Read More:
http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/article/faith_and_feelings/

Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting

Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.

Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 10/15/09

http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/

2. Learn Their Lingo

Hinky = Something as yet undefinable is wrong, out of place; not quite right.

Microvisit = The real-world equivalent of microblogging. Stopping by to talk to someone for 140 seconds or less.

3. Movie Reviews for Parents

Surrogates

“Surrogates” didn’t clean up at the box office, but its proven sci-fi action premise and even its aging action star will likely draw the interest…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/surrogates/

Fame

Thirty years ago, the original “Fame” was built on the idea that talented kids could take their shot at glory by working with everything they…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/fame/

4. Links to Learn From

The Guilt-Trip Casserole: The Family Dinner [New York Times]
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/04/fashion/04dinner.html?_r=1&8dpc

Five Nutrition Facts About Milk [The Baltimore Sun]
http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/family/sns-health-milk-kids,0,4513088.story

Parental Pride and Adolescence [Psychology Today]
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200910/parental-pride-and-adolescence

5. A Little Encouragement…And Humor

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience.”
- Author Unknown

A Long Over Due Update

This update is long overdue…no excuses -  what has been going on in the Bradford family?

1. Football, football and more football

Football to some degree has been consuming our lives as of late.  Practice every night…games on Saturday and Sunday.  When  you actually sit down and count all the hours we have put in over the past two months it’s somewhat overwhelming.  Fortunately the season is coming to an end in a few weeks.  Both Jayden (wide receiver) and Mitchell (running back/defensive line) have had great seasons.  Jayden has incredible hands…thyrow him the ball in his direction and he will somehow come up with the catch.  Mitchell no the other hand is all about sheer power…when he gets the ball lookout defenders because he will run you over on his way to the goalline!

1. Vacation – what can I say?  We had an awesome time in sunny/humid Florida.  We spent a few days at Universal and two nights at Hollywood Studios for the Nights of Joy concerts.  Another highlight was attending Cirque de Soleil’s LaNouba at downtown Disney.
2. Visit from grandma & grandpa – it was great to have Keri’s mom and dad visit from Ottawa.  They hung around our place for a week.  They saw their grand boys play football plus grandpa fixed everything and anything that wasn’t working properly in our house.  The boys and him also had the chance to build a new skateboard ramp (since their father is cluelss when it comes to building anything with his hands!!)
3. Taking a break from basketball – after 20 years of coaching I’ve decided to take a break this season.  With so much going on in our lives I know I need to do a much better job of re-connecting with my wife and kids.  Taking a break this season will give me at least 4-6 extra hours a aweek to invest in my own family.  We will likely look at spending time together doing things as a family rather than frasgmenting ourselves into a variety of other opportunities.  With the boys entering adolesence Keri and I need to focus a great deal of our attention of guiding our boys through this tumultuous experience we call the “teenage years”.
4. Ministry Transition – once again my role has changed within the youth ministries at Centre Street.  In July my role transitioned from grade pastor to youth community pastor.  I will also be championing the family ministry within the context of youth ministries.  I am moving out into unchartered terrritory but I believe I am up for the challenge!
5. Check-up

What I’ve been reading?  I’ve been consuming aot of books recently…here is a list of just a few that have been helping me in my thought processes;

What I’ve been watching? Haven’t had the chance to watch much tv as of recent.  As a family we still enjoy Survivor and the Amazing Race.  My TIVO is filled to the brim with episodes from – CSI, Mentalist, NCIS.  I have also found Flash Forward to be quite intriguing!

What I’ve been learning?  Plain and simple – I’ve been learning a ton…now I need to simply process the knowledge.  I have found the saying, “knowledge is power” to be the biggest lie out there.  The reason why?  Knowledge without action – changes nothing.  I think that has been the church’s biggest problem over these years.  WE have all the knowledge in the brain but we have done nothing with the great ideas of man.  Why?  because great ideas do not necessarily lead us to change anything about ourselves or the world in which we live.  I’ll stop there before I turn this into a full blown sermon!

When I have processed and begin living out this new learning curve…I’ll let you in on what I’ve experienced through the learning process.

Well that was fairly short and sweet and to the point…blessings on you and your family!

Until next time

G <><<

Psalm 37:4

Living in the Lion’s Den

I couldn’t help but remember the difficult days as a young kid when I was bullied on my way to school… while watching Dr. Phil yesterday.

Then as
I sat down to do devos this morning I found myself in the book of Daniel.  I was quickly reminded of how often I read a Bible story and so quickly forget what it is trying to teach me.

We’ve seen the flannel graphs. We’ve heard the bedtime story; we’ve even done the drama in Sunday school. Daniel and the Lion’s Den. Been there, done that.

The fact is that it is very easy to skip right past the most important lesson of this story. I call it living in the lions den.

When we study the example of Daniel we are so quick to say, “Wow, what a courageous dude… to stand up to the bullies and pray even though it was against the law fully well knowing he would be thrown into a lion’s den.

The decision for him was made long before this fateful day. Daniel didn’t wake up on that morning and say, “You know what…today I feel like breaking the law…I am going to pray to God even though I’m not really supposed too!”

Daniel made his decision to serve and obey God long ago when he was a teenager. Back in the good ole days when he was basically kidnapped from his home, forced to live in a strange land, and forced to give up his faith.

Except Daniel didn’t give in and He didn’t give up. As a teen, he determined to live out his faith, despite the consequences. Even in the little things. That’s real faith. Faith when nobody is looking. Faith that is ready for anything that life may throw at it.

Somewhere down the road it’s pretty much a guarantee that we will take out turn living in the lions den. Just like Daniel we will be forced to make a decision that will determine what kind of impact you will have on your world.

Whether you are a parent or a student…are you prepared to stand firm on what God is calling you to do?

Here are a few questions to think about as we go into this weekend:

• Are their small/big compromises that are staring you in the face?
• What is your plan of action?  Remember the old saying, “If you fail to plan – you plan to fail”
• What are you doing today to plant the seeds of faith that can stand confident in the face of our lions?